Having experienced an increase in people seeking services related to grief and cancer, what better time than now to write up a blog article on navigating the cancer landscape for patients and their caregivers, family and friends. Grief and loss show up in many different ways, and in the same vein, there are a wide array of coping skills.

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Not only is it important to give yourself/loved ones grace and compassion, identifying support services and resources also alleviates the stress that comes with the cancer territory. Education about the type of cancer, staging, prognosis, and treatment options is paramount. Assertive communication with the medical professionals providing cancer care provides opportunities for the best outcomes.

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Tips on seeking resources:

  • Ask the medical team what resources there are in the community.
  • Make sure to bring specific questions to appointments - it’s also helpful to have someone with you to make sure everything discussed is heard by two sets of ears.
  • Get therapy - individual and group therapy is highly encouraged.
  • Turn towards your support system - friends, family, therapists, physicians/nurses, other community leaders/support.
  • Seek out forums online for support (be sure to engage with ones that are positive, caring spaces).

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How to effectively communicate with care team:

  • Bring your notes to appointments.
  • Make notes at appointments.
  • Be open, honest and transparent.
  • Ask for clarification if needed.
  • Bring a buddy to appointments.
  • Advocate for yourself - don’t shy away from expressing your concerns.
  • Ask for all the information you can on treatment options and what’s entailed.

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Expected emotions for patients:

  • Surprise
  • Shock
  • Denial
  • Idealization
  • Numb
  • Dissociated
  • Angry
  • Withdrawn
  • Curious
  • Confused
  • Sad
  • Hurt
  • Disappointed
  • Mindful
  • Apathetic
  • Scared
  • Alone

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Expected emotions for caregivers and loved ones:

  • Sad
  • Concerned
  • Overwhelmed
  • Angry
  • Confused
  • Surprised
  • Lonely
  • Stressed
  • Fearful
  • Withdrawn
  • Burned out
  • Hypervigilant 

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Caregiver tips for respite:

  • Take breaks.
  • Share the responsibility.
  • Take care of yourself first and foremost in order to be there for your loved one.
  • Get therapy.
  • Seek out support groups.
  • Journal.
  • Ask for help.

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Through a combination of open and honest communication, identifying and engaging with support resources and obtaining education about the specifics of the cancer treatment options, patients and the people in their corner can achieve better quality of life and prevent burnout.

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A Few Suggested Cancer Resources:

  • Gilda’s Club Chicago: gildasclubchicago.org
  • Willow House Chicago: willowhouse.org
  • American Cancer Society
  • American Association for Cancer Research

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*Please note that there can be a significant overlap of emotions for all involved, including ones not mentioned.

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*These tips and suggestions are not an exhaustive list of options.

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See more posts about:
Cancer
Grief and Loss
Chronic Illness
Caregiver
coping
Meghan Reitz

Meghan Reitz, LCPC, NCC, has worked within the counseling profession for over 20 years. Her therapist experience includes providing individual, couples, family, group, and crisis counseling. She also speaks with companies and groups on mental health and wellness topics. Learn more about Meghan here.