The MLRA Therapy Blog

Insights and ideas from the therapist team at Meghan L. Reitz and Associates.

Whose Fault is It? Relationships: Couples, Friends, & Families

Being in a relationship takes effort, respect, and empathy. This is integral within friendships, family relationships, and romantic relationships. We often want to place blame on someone for troubles or issues that arise. No one is perfect; even the best of friends will have disagreements. It's about how you handle yourself in these situations that will determine the outcome.

Things to Remember:

1) You can only control yourself, not others.

2) Think about what triggers arguments- is there a common thing like money, trust, responsibility that is in question? Does it seem to always be the start of a disagreement? Or just sometimes?

3) Take an in-depth look on how YOU argue- are you respectful? Do you jump to conclusions? Are you verbally abusive? Do you shut-down?

4) Ask yourself, what would I like to change in my relationship to make me happier? Then, talk to your partner about it. This doesn't mean that the other person will agree- respect their opinion. Focus on doing what's best for you.

5) Trouble communicating? It's ok. We're never all on the same page. In essence, if you feel you and your partner are not communicating effectively, it's time to learn new ways of communicating if you want to salvage the relationship. This can be done through individual, couples, and family counseling. Individuals can also benefit from seeing a Personal or Life Coach. There are many resources out there in self-help books, websites, and blogs. Not sure where to start? Ask yourself what medium you best learn in- visual, talking it out, listening, etc.

Try not to place blame on others for what you are feeling. If you are unhappy with where you are at, try to improve yourself. Set boundaries, be thoughtful in your approach towards people, and take care of you.

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